Is busy-ness avoidance? The threat of rest.

What’s your relationship to rest? For a moment, close your eyes and contemplate: “what does rest mean to me?”

I’m interested in your initial reaction to that. Even now - after years of trying to unpick this go-to reaction - rest can still feel like a cop-out, an indicator of the weaker of the species, a failing. It’s a visceral reaction, a prickle of shame. Have you ever had that rare moment of putting your feet up with a hot cuppa, only for someone to arrive home early and you spring to your feet to make yourself look busy? I can definitely put my hands up to that one. And sitting down in the daytime, well, that’s a whole other level of shame! 

Rest is entirely counter-cultural.

Even our downtime can have a productive undertone to it - #NetflixAndChill binge-watching, catch-up, on-demand, FOMO on the latest pop culture hit of the moment. So unfamiliar, rest can feel hugely confronting.

When status is correlated to the extent of our busy-ness, and the ‘being in demand’ dopamine hit feeds our attachment to busy, it’s natural that consciously choosing to rest - proper rest - would feel like a guilty secret.

But busy-ness can also be an act of avoidance - a survival strategy of the nervous system.

Slowing down creates space. Slowing down creates a quietening. With space and quiet, what’s been resisted is heard and felt. 

I see the practice of yin yoga as a mirror to this. 

Yin yoga invites a slow, soft and still practice. There’s often a moment of ‘what now?’ for people new to this style, their busy mind searching for (craving, even) the next thing to do…. In yin yoga, the only ‘to do’ is to be. No pose to ‘achieve’ outwardly - with eyes often closed or gaze lowered, attention is drawn to the internal landscape - and that can be a disorienting and, for some, scary place to be. 

If keeping busy, striving and escapism have been a survival strategy, then slowing down (even slightly) can feel like a very real threat to the sense of self. The nervous system will, of course, respond to that - fight, flight, freeze or fawn.

That internal response - of threat - may be so subtle or habitual that it’s barely even noticable - more of an impulse to move back to the ‘safety’ of the known (the ‘doing’) rather than an overt reaction. Coming back to the micro view of a yin yoga class, it creates an opportunity to notice - emotions, thoughts, any impulses and behaviour. In a moment of stillness, what is noticed? What happens on the mat will reflect what happens off the mat too.

As I write this, we’ve just observed the clock changes here in the UK, shifting us into the darker months. Nature has shifted to a season of hibernation and replenishment. A reminder that we too can be ‘wintering’, tending to the roots ready for more growth and blossoming ahead. 

While a whole season of hibernation isn’t realistic, moments of tending to your roots can be. If an hour’s yin yoga class feels too slow, too confronting, micro-moments to pause can begin to build this muscle of rest - one that is essential to wellbeing and connection, both to others and to our truest self.

Tell me, what slow and mindful act can bring you a micro-moment of pause today? I’d love to know what that is for you…

“In an age of acceleration, nothing can be more exhilarating than going slow. And in an age of distraction, nothing is so luxurious as paying attention. And in an age of constant movement, nothing is so urgent as sitting still.” - Pico Iyer

You: Beyond the physical

Image: Little Baby Company

During my yoga training, my teacher - the lovely Deep Kumar - asked us this question: “who are you?”. We each took turns to, self-consciously on my part, describe ourselves to the group. What became clear was that we were describing ourselves with labels - mum, wife, job title, nationality, religion, a few character traits we were known for.

Deep nudged us to sit and contemplate again “who are you?”.

Have a go yourself. Beyond the roles that you play in your life, who are you? On Deep’s prompting we began to think about who we are beyond the physical body and experience. 

Have you ever even thought of yourself as anything more than your physical body? I hadn’t until I was in my early twenties striving to achieve in the physical world. If you’re interested in exploring spirituality, something that has become increasingly relevant as I talk about in the Modern Believers trend here, it’s the you beyond the physical. It’s you as a being of energy.

We are so advanced when it comes to the physical body, from the fundamentals of nutrition and exercise, through to advancements in science and medicine, but we’ve lost connection to the self - the you beyond the labels. It’s the balance of the subtle body that I find fascinating and that I believe is the path to true wellbeing.

Before I pen a series of posts around the subtle body, specifically practices to create balance in mind, body and soul, I’m sharing the yogic wisdom on the true youˆ - what is called Atman.

Image: Savy International

Ancient wisdom: The Koshas

The ancient yogis believed we have five koshas, or five bodies - a bit like Russian dolls, nesting one inside another. Just one of these, the outermost layer, is the physical. This is the Annamaya Kosha. Us, as flesh and blood.

The next three layers are what is referred to as the subtle body.

They are:

The Pranayama Kosha: If you’ve heard the term Pranayama in a yoga class, the breathwork practice, this will give you a clue to the nature of this layer. The Pranayama Kosha is the life force energy layer - the breath of life - and focuses on the flow of this energy within the body.

The Manomaya Kosha: This is the layer of the mind and emotions. I see it like the internal chatter constantly narrating our experience of the world - or replaying past experiences a lot of the time. It’s all the judgements and assumptions and perceptions of our very subjective experience. It’s how two people can see the same situation in very different ways (hello marriage!). If you’ve ever heard a yoga teacher say something along the lines of “come back to your breath”, it’s a reminder to release the grip of the mind and return to the moment.

The Vijnanamaya Kosha: Increasingly more subtle, this layer is about intuition and wisdom. If you’ve ever tried a mindfulness meditation of observing your thoughts and emotions, this teaches you that you are the thinker of those thoughts, the observer observing the Manomaya Kosha. It can be called ‘awareness’.

Beyond these three layers of the subtle body is the fifth layer, Anandamaya Kosha. This is the bliss layer, a point when you transcend the body and the mind and become completely immersed in an experience. Children are the perfect example of the bliss layer - the pure absorption into the moment. If you’ve ever seen a child stomping in puddles or experiencing the ocean waves for the first time, that is Anandamaya kosha. Bliss.

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So often yoga is seen as a form of exercise but the true intention of yoga was to use the practices of the asanas (the physical), the breathing techniques (energy) and meditation to move towards this bliss state. It is believed that this wholeness reveals the true self, your true essence. Who you are beyond the labels and roles and definitions, to the childlike you experiencing it all. 

It sounds great. Who wouldn’t want to live in a state of bliss? But, in real life, how achievable is it? Yoga, and many other modalities, are a practice. The practice is finding ways to move towards that state, to develop an understanding of yourself as an energy body, your true self.

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Self reflection:

What brings you bliss? What memories do you have of being so ‘in the moment’ that you felt that childlike sense of blissful presence?

Conscious Rest: a state of being

If you read my wellbeing trend report, you’ll have seen me mention conscious rest as one of my predictions for the wellbeing space for 2021. 

What do you imagine when you think of ‘rest’? For you, it might be putting your feet up for a few moments with a cuppa. It may be a glass of wine and a boxset, or a lazy lie-in. It might be that rest is the absence of something (work, homeschooling). For athletes, it’s a day for physical recovery. What is it for you?

Image: Sivana Spirit

Yoga is a popular way for people to move into a more mindful state. Moving in a fluid one-pose, one-breath flow can kick the body immediately into a more relaxed state. Some of the people that came to my yoga classes said it was the physical benefits of yoga that brought them to the practice but the emotional benefits that kept them coming back. The same was true for me when I started.

The ‘conscious rest’ element of the practice would be savasana - a pose which my own yoga teacher referred to as “the most challenging pose of all”. I didn’t get it at the time but the moving and doing of yoga is, surprisingly, far easier than the stillness of being.

The ancient texts though didn’t intend yoga as a physical practice. The poses were a means to an end - that was to prepare the body to sit in meditation. The quiet. The stillness. The challenge.

Conscious rest moves the body, and the brain, into a different state. A place beyond the senses and the busy-ness of the mind. 

Yoga Nidra is one practice that shifts the brain waves into those of a dream-like state. This deep relaxation triggers the nervous and endocrine systems to heal and regenerate. It has been shown, in scientific trials, to be beneficial to people suffering from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) in that it helps to shift the trauma that exists in the body and mind, specifically the distress signals emitted by the brain, momentarily. Yoga nidra has been shown to slow the brain waves from the beta wave pattern of waking consciousness into alpha, then theta and delta patterns. In delta wave patterns, the deep relaxation and deep healing occurs.

Yoga nidra is obviously no replacement for quality sleep but, it is said that, one hour of yoga nidra is the equivalent of three hours of deep sleep (though I’m not sure where this urban myth originated!). 

Sidenote: If you’re wanting to try Yoga Nidra for yourself I’d recommend iRest by James Reeves - I’m in no way affiliated but this has been the best online version I’ve found so far. (James is leading a yoga nidra session on ‘stress as your friend’ which I’m going to join here).

Aside from a guided yoga nidra session, here are a few ways you can create moments of conscious rest:

• Choose any passive yoga pose and immerse yourself into it fully. Use any (and many!) props to help you fully relax. The most obvious passive pose would be a supported child’s pose (with support for the knees and head) but I also like Viparita Karani (legs up the wall pose) and a reclined twist (with supported back and/or knees). Supta Baddha Konasana (reclined butterfly) with an open heart was the one that, in my early days, brought me to tears. Choose your pose and then your only job is to breathe - focusing on this alone and allowing whatever chooses to come to the surface to flow.

• An oldie but a goodie - deep belly-breathing. The beauty of breathing is you can do this one any time and anywhere. Simply bringing the focus to the breath is, in itself, going to begin to calm and soothe the nervous system. The real magic is in the exhale. Slow it right down. Build gradually, and in a way that feels ease-y, but aiming to have the exhale twice the length of your inhale. Breathing in for a count of four and, after a pause, lengthening the exhale to a count of eight. Give it a try. Consciously note how you feel before and after this practice.

• If you already practise yoga, cherish the savasana. So many of us (me included!) fidget our way through this final part of the practice, mentally moving back into our day, but it’s here that the magic lies. Embrace this pose - the space and the time to simply rest and be.

2021 Wellbeing Trend Report

Welcome to the wellbeing trend report for 2021. I’ll start with a quick overview of the big themes (can you guess?) and then introduce my top 5 predictions of how these will affect the wellbeing space in 2021. Each trend will summarise the ‘big picture’, anticipate where the trend might lead and offer a simple tip to incorporate the trend into your lifestyle.

{15-minute read: settle in with a cuppa}

“Man makes plans… and God laughs.” Well, that was certainly true of 2020 - a year of massive change to our priorities, to how we work, to how we socialise (or not, as it turned out) . I’m sure you don’t need reminding. And, it’s my belief that there’s more change to come.

I’ve been discovering and studying and practising a variety of healing modalities since my early twenties and this little ‘toolkit’ of mine became a lifeline last year. At a time when things continue to change rapidly on a global scale, taking care of our individual wellbeing will, I hope, move higher up the priority list to become small acts integrated into daily routine instead of token ‘self-care’ - as much a part of the daily routine as personal hygiene.

2021, I feel, will be a year when many of the centralised structures adapt. Last year opened my eyes to the reality that we’ve given away responsibility for our health to the medical community, the education of our children to the school system, and left our finances in the hands of banks. Trust has been lost in government and media. As individuals we need to have more input and take greater responsibility for our part.

Last year was the initial shock, the eye opener. The aftershocks will see some structures begin to fracture, as the foundations we’ve stood confidently upon, possibly obliviously, are shaken even further. I expect there to be collective anger and sadness and the ripple effect of all of that will be felt as individuals, in our bodies. 

TREND 1: NATURE’S RESET

Image: Wild Eartha

Did anybody else take a crash-course in building immunity in 2020? I was starting my day juicing ginger root and lime juice, swatting up on gut health and serving up orange segments to the kiddos on the regular. Supplement sales were the highest in a decade, up almost 25% according to Nutrition Business Journal.

In a small way, this is a nod to this trend - one where individuals and communities rally to take ownership of preventative healthcare at a localised level, shaking up our reactive approach / dependency. A people-centred, community-centric system - possibly an infrastructure that draws in urban-farming and self-sustaining food supplies. Cherished medical practitioners will be an important part of a whole that will include, not only ‘mainstream alternatives’ such as homeopathy, acupuncture and chiropractic, but also herbal medicine, energy healing techniques, sound healing. I could go on. In short, ways to nurture your energy body as well as the physical.

With death tolls announced daily, the meaning of “your health is your wealth” has hit home. Public health messages at every turn are reminding everyone to “stay safe”, be on the defensive, with external habits like masks and sanitisers and a perception that the medical care system is unavailable, but little advice around working from the inside out - of nutrition or lifestyle habits or ways to ‘connect’ to stay well. 

A supplementary approach has gained traction - one of preventative healthcare. While the allopathic community and alternative health modalities have been, apart from some overlap, pretty independent of each other, we’ve had a stark reminder that we need a proactive approach to our health and wellbeing and to take responsibility for staying well. Searches for functional medicine and holistic practices increased by 40% in 2020,  and demand for Traditional Chinese Medicine - that includes herbals, acupuncture and Tai Chi - and Ayurvedic products have seen surges in demand too. Dabur saw a 400% increase in sales of its immunity boosting formulation in 2020. 

The exciting thing with these traditional approaches is that, developed on ancient wisdom that pre-dates many modern interventions, they’re based on using ingredients from ‘nature’s larder’ - Mother Nature in her wisdom supplies a lot of what we need to stay well. As a complement to the science, reconnecting with these traditional ways to stay well is surely a good thing - makes us more empowered in determining our health, our true wealth.

This localised community approach to preventative health will look at the individual as a whole, keeping body, mind and soul in balance. As this trend grows within the mainstream, you may notice ‘alternatives’ like breathwork and bodywork and sound healing mentioned in lifestyle press. You may see more adaptogenic products available in health stores (or online for the moment). You may notice forest bathing becomes a ‘normal’ activity. It’s recognising that nature provides the elements we need to be well. 

It’s not quite the village ‘medicine man / woman’ of our elders but remembering and utilising that wisdom as well as our medical advancements. It goes beyond popping a few supplements alongside your breakfast but looking at your body as a whole, integrated energetic system and using the wisdom of nature’s provision to stay well and feel vitality.

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How to try out this trend: This trend is a reminder that, just like the natural world, your body has an innate intelligence and often knows what you need for the season you’re in. What has been that niggling voice been asking of you lately? What does your body need right now? It’s not prescribing the superfood of the moment, it’s knowing your body.

Self reflection: What’s your heritage? Think about your roots and ancestry, your bloodline. How might your elders have looked after their health? For example, the Celts would have foraged wild garlic and juniper berries for their remedies. Getting back in sync with nature - your nature - starts with recognising the magic of your body’s natural intelligence.

TREND 2: CONSCIOUS REST

Image: Yoga by Candace

In a culture where working hard, being busy and having jam-packed schedules are seen as a status symbol or a reflection of your worth - both societal and self - rest can be a modern act of rebellion. This trend is about active rest - which I’ll explain in a moment.

The first lockdown of 2020, for many, was a moment of pause - the whole world stood still, the usual distractions stripped away. But slowing down, for many, wasn’t an easy switch. Busy social calendars were replaced with Zoom quizzes, daytime hours were filled with home improvements, new hobbies and physical challenges, and not to mention the work/home-schooling juggle many parents faced. While, for some, lockdown forced a ‘pattern interrupt’ (an NLP technique that’s purposely used to change a habit), for many others a personal identity built around ‘being busy’ was difficult to adapt.

That was then. Normal life hasn’t returned. We’ve lived in a state of uncertainty and unpredictability and, for some, extreme fear for almost a year at this point. There’s been a lot of false hope and broken promises and tormenting double standards. It’s already creating distressing projections of an “unprecedented” mental health crisis looming and, heartbreakingly, children’s wellbeing increasingly recognised as collateral damage. 

I know that makes for dire reading but this will force a trend towards people needing tools to relieve chronic stress or possibly even a trauma response. According to expert Peter Levine, trauma is less about the actual event but the perception of the event. If you feel your health or livelihood or way of life is threatened over a sustained period, that too can be perceived as trauma in the body - fight. flight, freeze.

Of course, dealing with serious mental health issues will always be the domain of a professional. My point in mentioning this is to highlight what is a collective need right now to move the body from heightened response (the sympathetic nervous system) into a place of rest and repair (the parasympathetic nervous system). 

This trend is about active rest. Coming back into your body. It’s not “Netflix and chill”, it’s not a couple of glasses of wine, it’s not even an early night (although I’ll mention sleep hygiene next). These can all keep you distracted and dissociated. 

The conscious rest trend will bring to the fore mindful ways to BE. Less of the dynamic yoga and more of yin, restorative and yoga Nidra (yogic sleep!). Breathwork practices. Sun gazing and moon-bathing rituals. Trembling therapies for trauma release. Walking meditation groups. Without the luxury of spa days, it will mean creating your own sanctuary of rest with essential oils blends, herbal salt baths, self massage practices and playlists featuring gongs and Himalayan singing bowls.

As for sleep. Yes, that is of course the body at rest but this trend is about using some of your waking hours to induce that ‘rest and digest’ mode in the body. 

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How to try out this trend: Try out padabhyanga. This is an Ayurvedic practice done with warm oil. You can simply indicate to your body that it’s time to rest by introducing a nightly massage of your ankles and feet before sleep - most important here is doing it mindfully, fully absorbed into the practice. As well as showing your feet some love, you’ll be gently massaging lots of reflexology points to affect the whole body system.

Self reflection: How often do you actively rest? What stops you from BE-ing? What’s at the root of your busy-ness?

TREND 3: NEXT GENERATION WELLNESS

Image: The Colour Monster board game c/o Toy Ideas blog

An extension of the previous trend, but worthy of its own place on the mantle, this trend is about the children - developing in them all the wellness tools we wish we had had sooner, so that we’re raising a resilient, balanced generation.

Our children have faced a challenge unlike any since wartime babies. Their little lives have been up-ended in the past year and, worst of all  - as it stands - with no silver lining. A year of childhood is a long time. Like many other parents, the lasting impact on our children of the changes to our society and humanity as a whole is concerning. What effects will the ‘habits’ we’ve adopted have in their forming construct of the world? How will it affect their development and their beliefs about health, security, how society works?

While wellness for little people has been creeping onto the agenda in schools over recent years - with daily miles and yoga and mindfulness present in PSHE lessons - this past year has supercharged it.

The children’s obesity epidemic forced awareness of children’s diets (and school meals thanks to Jamie Oliver) and exercise habits - fighting against the rising gaming culture and sedentary lifestyles. It has evolved to include awareness of cyber-bullying and the effects of social media. This past year Joe Wicks took on the role of school PE teacher in his daily online classes. But while diet and exercise habits are clearly important, the upside to this shitshow of a year is that it offers the opportunity to do things differently. 

As well as their physical health, this is an opportunity to foster in our children habits for emotional health - the ability to explore emotions, to find ways to express what they’re feeling - whether that’s by talking or through a creative outlet, and finding ways to sit with things that are uncomfortable. While amazing brands like Cosmic Kids Yoga have flourished in the past year, this trend will go beyond one-off moments on the mat and into everyday.

Mattel has partnered with the meditation app Headspace to create a Breathe With Me Barbie that features guided meditations, clouds to label emotions, and supporting videos on the app. Moshi Monsters created a similar partnership with the Calm app to create a sleep and mindfulness extension for children called Moshi. As well as brand extensions, there are new and emerging brands that see the potential in this space such as Meddy Teddy who teaches yoga and mindfulness, Max Mindpower the cuddly bear that has integrated body scan and mindfulness meditations, and the Happy Self Journal that helps children to develop gratitude and growth mindsets.

It goes to show how wellness will be more of a norm for our children.

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How to try out this trend: As a starter, try a few books to introduce the themes of wellbeing. I’d recommend You’re a Star which is described as a “guide to self-esteem” but it’s gently done and I found it creates lots of talking points to open the conversation with your child.

Self reflection: As we know, little eyes are watching all the time. How are you taking care of your own wellbeing? What is it that you do, or plan to start doing, that you can role model the way for them? Whether that’s yoga together or sharing what you’re grateful for as part of the bedtime routine, or simply just having a mindful, present cup of tea!

TREND 4: MINIMALISTIC SKINCARE

Image: Ascension Kitchen

This trend is about simplification - simplified routines, scrutiny of ingredients and overall attitude to use of beauty products for wellness.

Make-up sales plummeted in 2020. Foundation and lipstick sales fell by 70% as people shunned the heavily-layered face of the insta-glam crowd and opted to either go bare-faced or for a simplified, natural look. As most of us only saw the people we live with day-to-day during the first national lockdown and, thankfully, we were enjoying some balmy weather at the time, make-up bags began to gather dust. The habit of, possibly, decades had been broken.

Instead, that “lost” spending on make-up switched into skin, body and hair care products as beauty salons closed their doors and we were forced to go the DIY route. John Lewis saw sales in this sector rise by 234% according to The Guardian. But, is this a temporary shift in priorities or a behavioural change?

The Minimalistic Skincare trend is influenced by three main things: we’re much more health aware, we want to know the provenance of what we consume, and we became a lot more ‘hands-on’ during our time at home (baking, gardening, crafting). 

As we begin to seek out more natural approaches to our diet and healthcare, then that same mindset will extend to other areas too - the air we breathe, the products we use inside our homes and, also, what we put on our skin.

Our skin is our body’s largest organ and, as it’s porous, absorbs everything put onto it. It makes sense that while we become conscious of the toxins we consume into our bodies, we think about the concoctions we layer onto it too. This will drive demand for a simple skincare routine and ‘clean’ beauty products. Also, just as the trend of Nature’s Reset showed that previously-implied trust in ‘those who know best’ has been shaken, the ripple effect will see us look at other areas with fresh eyes and scrutiny.

Things that have before been a bit niche - such as gua sha stones and facial rollers, face yoga and organic beauty - were accelerated into the mainstream. Fab brands such as Evolve, a UK-based organic beauty company that makes its products by hand and uses natural oils, butters and extracts, will thrive as people recognise natural ingredients are better for both our bodies and our world. Evolve uses pulp obtained from the juicing industry, which is frozen and crushed at source - to create exfoliating particles for its scrubs. It’s this level of provenance that gives people the feel-good factor and confidence.

Products will sound more like food ingredients, such as the two-product range by Vintners Daughter, that includes superfoods, adaptogens and “ancient healers”, and the simple range developed by the sisters behind By Sarah London that features the full ingredient list on the front label.

But an extension of this trend is people being more empowered in their approach to health and wellbeing. Take a look at the bestselling books of the moment - in the top 20, nestled amongst handwriting workbooks and phonics flashcards (hello, home-schooling parents!), recipe books on the theme of ’quick, easy dinners’ and novels for escapism, is Caroline Hiron’s book Skincare.

What’s emerged (or emerging) is a shift in beauty away from it being a thing you do for others, but a thing you do for your own health, happiness and nurturing. Workshops have sprung up around making your own skincare and Google searches, such as ‘how to make your own deodorant’, have gone up by 140%.

It’s the usage of the products, as well as the ingredients, that is evolving. Skincare becomes as much about inner ritual as it is outer cleanliness. Products that create a ‘moment’ or ‘experience’ will fulfil a need created by our lack of social connection right now - the therapeutic effects of touch calm and balance the nervous system by releasing oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ that drives our urge for social connection.

The outtake of all of this is, as everything was stripped away (quite literally, in our make-up habits), we’re consciously choosing what we add back in and choosing a deeper, more intimate connection to our health, our bodies and to our skin.

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How to try out this trend: You might find some skincare ingredients sitting in your kitchen cupboards. Honey, yoghurt, avocado, oats - why not experiment with using a few of these natural ingredients to make yourself a little treat. For example, manuka honey and a few drops of lavender essential oil can make for a simple, warming DIY mask. 

Self-reflection: How can skincare and beauty be more for you rather than your game face for the outside world? What does beauty feel like to you? How can it make you feel good?

TREND 5: MODERN BELIEVERS

Image: Yoga Journal

This trend is about people seeking more - more meaning and purpose to life, something beyond the self. Authenticity will become increasingly important and finding ways to connect to the self and others is at the heart of the Modern Believers trend.

2020 prompted a 70% increase in people searching the general term ‘spirituality’. This curiosity in seeking a connection beyond the body and mind, to soul or spirit or God within, will see a new wave of spiritual practices and communities emerge. With trend-lines for formal religion seeming to be on the decline, my personal belief (based on instinct alone, rather than data) is that the system of religion will need to adapt but the having of a belief or faith will appeal to increasingly more young people.

There are upward ticks in trends of crystal healing, manifestation, feng shui and various alternative practices, and I love these things too, but something feels off when there’s a commercialism of spirituality. Time in prayer or meditation needs very little. What people are seeking is the intangible meaning, substance.

What formal religion offers is group ritual and community and acts of devotion, something that is absent in modern society. The Modern Believers trend will see people seek out new ways to find meaning and form communities to share a very personal practice in union.

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How to try out this trend: Find a quiet spot and set aside 5-10 minutes for quiet meditation or prayer. It can be as simple as closing your eyes with your awareness on breathing in and breathing out. You might like to sent an intention beforehand, or you might like to say a prayer. There is no structure, it is entirely personal, a relationship for you to explore in a way that feels right to you.

Self-reflection:  Community is important. Do you know people who share your belief system? How can you come together to dedicate time to spiritual practice?

DISCLAIMER: These trends are based on desktop research and my own personal observations. Predictions are based on my interpretation of this data and a good dose of intuition.

"Tune into your body": What DOES that mean?

On a surface level, you probably know that your body mirrors your emotions.

If you feel nervous or excited, you may feel ‘butterflies’ in your stomach. If you feel tense, your teeth may be clenched and your muscles tensed. If you feel love, you might feel your heart beat a little faster.

But there might be times when your body is talking and you’re just not listening.

Let me go back a step. As cells in your mother’s womb, without instruction, your body developed. As a baby, you instinctively understood hunger and knew how to feed. As a child, you fell and cut your knee and, within days, your body healed itself. You are a miraculous being with an innate intelligence.

The complications come as we grow up. Our minds get involved and muddy the waters. Experiences leave their mark, memories are stored and we learn to adapt to our surroundings. Aiming to keep you safe, your mind draws on experiences from the past to make decisions in the here and now. Often that’s a split-second decision that you have absolutely no conscious awareness of. But, each time that happens, that stored information in your brain is driving your behaviour based on the past.

You are literally living in the past.

Image: Erin Telford

But your body might be telling you something else.

That intelligence intuitively knows the right decision, the answer or the best step forward for you. And it will be telling you too.

Emotions are the language of the body - the job is learning to listen.

Very simply, how you feel about something tells you how on or off-target you are. If you feel joy, love, excitement, calm and so on, it’s a big old nod of encouragement. If it feels ‘off’ in any way, your body is giving you a clue.

This isn’t to say you should run from anything that feels a little bit scary or challenging or uncomfortable. As they say, growth is on the other side of fear. The trick is to listen to it. Is the scary feeling because you’re stepping out of your comfort zone or is it the wrong move for you?

It may be a new idea to you but try to ‘tune in’ to that mind-body intelligence. Begin by choosing a quiet and private spot, and take a few slow, deep breaths. Start by actively feeling the feeling - and turn it up, like a volume control, to intensify it. Where in your body do you feel it? Place your hand there: what is it you need to know/do/say? What is the right next step for you?

Now, listen.

Instead of making decisions from the past and out of habit, you’ll be making choices from a place of intuition. And the more you do it, the more you trust yourself.

You don’t need to turn to anyone to help make your decision. You don’t need a book or a guru or a course or to ‘find yourself’.

It’s already there, it always has been.

Get out of your head: meditation for the anxious

It promises to reduce stress, improve sleep, increase concentration, positively impact mood and enhance relationships. With a promise like that, why wouldn't you give meditation a go.

I've meditated on and off for years. And I've given lots of different styles of meditation a try - guided visualisation, zazen, mindfulness, self-enquiry (through 'flow of consciousness' writing) and various types of yogi meditation (trakata, kundalini, mantra). When I've got into a regular practice I can personally vouch that it works. Yes, I've felt more positive, more present, less flappable.

At times when anxiety attacks have been at their worst, though, it's a different story. If anything, it seemed only to make matters worse.

Jeez, being alone and quiet at those times was effectively rolling out the welcome mat for anxiety to visit. Meditation became a vacuum that anxiety would readily fill. Focusing on my breath would end in hyper-ventilating. Focusing on my body would bring my awareness to a symptom or health concern. Observing my passing thoughts was, frankly, terrifying.

The obvious problem was that I was spending way too much time in my head. Meditating was exacerbating it.

By accident I realised the better alternative - for me. 

I needed to face the thing that I avoided the most. Health Anxiety says my body is fragile and vulnerable so I had to do the opposite. I had to get into my body and move.

My movement is through yoga. I realised that whenever I threw myself into a challenging practice, my mind had no choice but to ignore the chatter and focus instead on enabling my muscles to get from point A to a challenging point B.

I've since learned that being in mind, particularly worrying, is an attempt at control. To release the grip of anxiety, it was necessary to try to let go of control little by little. Ironically, meditation seemed to do the opposite.

Some people run, lift weights, walk as a mood-booster. I get it now. There is nowhere else to focus but on the physical.

I was out of my head and into my body.

Yoga practice was a moving meditation and wonderful 'medicine' for my anxious moments. During my yoga teacher training we took that a step further - we tried dance meditation, laughter therapy, 'shaking'. In a nutshell, shake up the energy in your body by getting your moves on in one way or another.

Like anything, I think the magic is in experimenting with different things to find what works for you. Meditation is definitely part of my 'toolkit' - it's just now I know when a cross-legged silence is right, and when to get moving. 

How to (begin to) craft your cocktail line

Social etiquette lesson courtesy of movie favourite, Bridget Jones’ Diary: “Introduce people with thoughtful details…”

In Bridget’s case, her introduction was “(she) works in a publishing house and she used to play around naked in (Mark’s) paddling pool.”

How would someone describe you?  Can you think of a recent occasion where someone’s introduced you?  What did they say?  And how did it make you feel?

If you have a job, or you’re a mum, chances are you get introduced by your role.  These days I often get “this is Louis’/Joe’s mum”. 

But how much do you think this introduces YOU?

As adults we get badged by our roles: someone’s wife/partner, mum, professional status.  And let’s be truthful, the person on the receiving end will probably make some snap judgement about who you are based on what they hear.   How true is it though?

Before marriage, babies, career, you were still YOU, right?

Image: Craft & Cocktails

I LOVE seeing little children make new friends.  They say their name full of importance and that’s it.  No pre-conceived ideas, no badges of honour.  Just, this is me.

If you were to strip away all the roles and titles, how would you love to be introduced?  What words would truly describe the real you? 

Many of the women I work with have forgotten, at least on a conscious level.  Somewhere, underneath the layers of responsibility, she’s still that young girl with that unique sparkle… but sometimes it just needs a little dusting off.

So, get your duster out and start to polish-up your cocktail line.

• What is your special talent? What do people come to your for help/advice on?

• What can you do with ease?

• What do you do that, when you do it, time flies?

• What lights you up?

• What have been some of your happiest moments?

• What do you stand for?

Free-flow with a pen and paper.  Write down anything and everything that comes up.  Start to reveal the words, the feelings, the uniqueness that makes you you.  Don’t censor.  Start with “I’m (your name) and this is me….”  Read it aloud and see how you feel now.

Tingles?  Tears?  A stirring?  If so, bingo, you’ve scratched the surface.

I’d love to hear from you.  What came up for you?

Using feelings as signposts: a revelation for an over-thinker

You don’t need drastic change. No need to quit the job, sell the house, overhaul your diet, chop your hair. 

If you’ve ever felt trapped by the many responsibilities of being a grown-up, it can sometimes feel like what you want is waaaaay out there. Far away and out of reach.

Even in a single day it can be a challenge to get to be the ‘you’ you’d like to be instead of the one that seems to have taken over your mind and body. Mindful mummy vs snappy and short-tempered. Clean eater vs emotional binger. Content vs anxious. It all feels a big leap from here to there.

One idea is to instead go for incremental gains.

The idea, cherry-picked from the sporting world, put simply means focusing on the next, little baby step. One step forward gets you moving away from one and toward the other. Nope, you’re not going to jump in a single moment from feeling anxious to zen, or angry to joyful, but you can move in a moment (after a few deep breaths) from angry to disappointed. And then, when you’re ready, from disappointed to, maybe, some kind of acceptance. And step-by-step that fog starts to lift.

Emotions are a scale.

Remember the pH scale you learned in science? Alkaline - Neutral - Acid. In the same way, our emotions can creep along the scale from ‘acidic’ feelings to something a little more neutral… and beyond. 

That idea helps me. Does it help you? When who I want to be, and the things I want to create from that space, seem far-removed from my reality it gives me some comfort to think I can take baby steps to move myself out of the rut. In moments when I’ve felt suffocating, overwhelming anxiety, it would have been good to realise I don’t have to leap to being someone else. The trick is to be aware of where you are right now and then reach for a feeling that is incrementally better. All of a sudden, momentum is on your side and you’re in an upward spiral instead.

And so, when you think the long-haul adventure or new job or some other thing out there is going to fix it, pause. Do something, anything, that gets you moving to a slightly better feeling. Cry into a pillow, dance, run a hot bath. That thing you’ve believed is the fix, the answer, isn’t necessarily what you’ve been looking for all along - maybe that feeling is just one baby step away.

But get the hair-cut, always get the haircut. (*wink)

Listen to the nudges of your intuitive voice

With 39 laps around the sun under my belt, I’m no fresh-faced teen with responsibility-free choices at my feet but, even as a mum responsible for two tiny humans, there’s one rule I’ve learned the hard way that I’m reminding myself of now. 

Listen to the nudges, even when they don’t make sense.

Note to self: “even when they don’t make sense”. God, do I love a plan. And lists. And the certainty of knowing what comes next, of making sense (especially to other people). But that need to know is also my achilles heel. It stops me taking risks. It holds me back from going after things that I want. It goes for immediate gratification instead of the long game. It makes me wobble enough to take the option that looks better on paper when something inside tells me otherwise. It encourages me to do what looks right rather than feels right.

And it’s a long-serving habit. (One I’ve been trying to un-learn!)

Image: Bash Please

Instead of another academic subject at school, especially those hours that were wasted studying Design and Communication (my least favourite subject), I really wish there had been a class that taught me about personal development. A subject that would have given me a bit more conviction.

At this point I was firmly in good girl territory studying hard for GCSE’s and choosing subjects for A-Levels, with the assumption that a University would be my next stop. 

That’s what a good girl would do, right? Excel academically. Then get a good job. 

And I did. And then worked hard to excel at that good job, then the next. 

While I had choices, like what options to take for my GCSE’s, what subjects to take at A-Level (just slightly influenced by which teachers you’d get!), which University and what degree - the bigger choice never even entered my young head.

What did I really want to do? Even in my teens, some options already seemed closed off to me - I’d missed the chance/was too “old” for some, or my education/talents would be “wasted” on others, or weren’t “secure” enough to set me up for life. (I don’t know where these messages came from but that mindset steered me to the ‘safe’ and expected route.)

The irony is that even though I did what was expected, still those choices didn’t really play to my talents, give me security or ‘set me up’.

If I was to speak to that younger me now - and the message I’d want to give to my boys when they reach these forks in the road - I’d say, listen. Listen to what pulls you. What are you passionate about? What would you love to do? If you put aside any fear or doubt, what would light you up?

OK, some things may be verging on impossibility. And you might try and fail and be back to square one. But high fives to failing while you’re young! Being curious and trying things out without ‘real life’ practicalities holding you back is surely the way forward. Experiment, try things out, fail. Fail LOTS.

This might sound a bit reckless. A tad naive. But I question the notion that our hearts’ desires should be silenced to, instead, be sensible - especially when we’re young but even when we’re grown-ups with responsibilities.

When I look back, where I’ve taken the wrong turn here and there - which, ultimately, I’m grateful for - the mistake has always been where I’ve ignored that little voice or instinctive nudge to go the other way. The Sensible Choice won out. 

And now there are so many more reasons to be sensible and safe. I have a family to look after. I should have a plan as to how it’s all going to work out. But I don’t.  Instead I have a vision and a determination to make it work - but certainty is zilch.

Being sensible and safe led me away from my path.  Actually, back in my teens I didn’t even know there might be another path. I hadn’t learned to listen to my own instinct, or know that my emotions were signposting me towards something or to get the heck away. I didn’t know me, then. I do now, at least a little better than I did back then.

For all the reasons to play the sensible game that being a mummy brings, it is also the thing that’s inspiring me to finally follow my heart and not just my head.  If I want my kinder to find their thing, then I have to blaze the trail. Show them what can be done when you listen to the nudges. It may all play out as I trust it will. I might fail. Who knows. But, two decades later, this good girl is taking another path.

Listen to the nudges, even when it doesn’t make sense.

One dose of OM for the nervous system

Why chant? Just as relevant today if you’re chronically stressed or anxious as it was for the ancient yogis - sound has the power not just to relax but heal on a deeper level than you may realise.

Have you got a happy song? Something that always lifts your spirits? Intuitively we can be drawn to music to reflect, or change, our mood. 

In my yoga classes this week we were playing with sound as a tool to cultivate the 'relaxation response’ - a term coined by Dr Herbert Benson in his 1975 bestselling book - but there is so much more to the magic of sound, not only for mood but for healing, health and wellbeing.

If you think of indigenous cultures, sound is ritual and ceremony - think didgeridoos, rattles, drums, bells, chanting. What these ancient traditions knew, science has proven to be beneficial. 

Image: Awake & Mindful

By chanting this ‘sound of the Universe’ we physically and symbolically move into harmony.

You may have felt the physical effect of this sound which, by stimulating the vagus nerve, activates the parasympathetic nervous system - the relaxing, healing, feel-good branch of the nervous system. The chant gives the mind a job - it calms the busy mind and so calms the body.

So, if for any reason, your body has felt ‘out of tune’, sound is an amazing tool you have right under your nose for bringing in a sense of harmony. It may be chanting or Solfeggio frequencies or just singing along to your favourite song.

Fill your lungs and sing it loud!

Yoga and anxiety

Anxiety has you living in a perma-fight-flight mode. Alert, vigilant, ready.

It’s scary sidekick, health anxiety, tricks you into thinking you’re just one symptom away from ‘the end’. It keeps you hyper-aware of your body and its sensations but, at the same time, terrified of noticing anything ‘off’ that might plunge you head-first into sheer panic about your wellbeing.

Yoga has been the bittersweet escape for me. I would step onto my yoga mat one person - maybe tense, preoccupied, feeling a familiar creep of dread - and would float off it someone else entirely. Usually practising at home, I’d find online classes to suit my mood or the time of day and took it at my own pace. And it worked like a charm.

It was during my first few days of my yoga teacher training that I hit the wall. Looking back, I’d been playing it very safe and gentle with my home practice, not really pushing myself because - lightbulb moment…

Deep down, I believed my body to be fragile and vulnerable, a ticking timebomb.

It was in simply lying, supported and cosy, in Supta Baddha Konasana (reclined bound angle) with awareness of my breath, as instructed, that I felt the panic. So used to focusing on my breath to calm and soothe a panic attack that now, by familiar association, this breath awareness seemed to work in reverse by cranking up my sympathetic nervous system (that fight/flight response) into high-gear, almost out of habit, Pavlov’s Dog style. My breathing became shorter, my face felt prickly, tears started streaming down my cheeks as I hyperventilated there in the dimly-lit, quiet of the yoga studio.

The same was true in practising postures too. I quickly realised that I had ‘safety zone’ postures, ones that featured regularly in my home practice, and others that I’d subconsciously decided were off-limits for someone as “fragile” as me - inverted postures were my nemesis.

Wanting to keep up with my peers and not to make a fuss, I’d keep quiet about my panic and give the inversions a try. Taking baby steps into each pose I’d be consumed by the chattering of my mind which warned me of triggering a brain haemorrhage or undetected heart condition or stroke. The total awareness of the flow of blood to my face, my brain, my head was terrifying. The feeling of ‘pressure’, as my body flipped on its axis (or tried to), made me (and my life) feel extremely vulnerable. And the panic “won”, it kept me “safe” by making me bottle it and backing off. But that left me with another uncomfortable feeling… the shame that I'd let anxiety win.

That’s been my pattern - avoidance.

When things feel uncomfortable and scary, I flee. In this I have form. And so, even now I’m still a little unsure how it happened but, when my teacher instructed me to move into a supported headstand, I just did it. Maybe it was that I hadn’t had time to think about it, that my body was quicker than the anxious thoughts on this occasion, but there I was, upside down, facing my fear of death-by-inversion. And I was ok.

In the ancient Indian text, the Bhagavad Gita, it says: “Yoga is the Journey of the Self, Through the Self, To the Self”

And then the penny dropped.

I’d been using yoga as some kind of escapism (avoidance). It was my place to feel calm and a bit more ‘me’ and, while those feelings are definitely some of the scrumptious side-effects of yoga mat-time, it had allowed me to play safe. With guidance from a super-duper mentor, who knew my real capability, my yoga practice became like an encouraging parent, nudging me to take a few risks for my own best interest.

And that was a place of growth. And euphoria.

I didn’t die in an inversion.

My mind had held tightly to this belief, this fear, and had held me back. But that fear had been proven to be a big, fat lie. It forced me to rewrite that belief and to question others.

Instead I felt something entirely different - strength, inside and out.

If yoga is about quieting the ripples of the mind so that in the still, clear water we can see our true nature and infinite potential reflected, then it has to be about first seeing those ripples for what they are. By gently having our attention drawn to them, rather than being allowed to stay in an unhealthy comfort zone in ignoring them, we’re lovingly encouraged to let them go. And isn’t that just the hallmark of a true friend?

Anxiety: Outing my thoughts

I didn’t feel safe.

At its worst, anxiety had me living a very strange life. I’d make sure my car had at least a quarter of a tank of fuel just in case. My phone battery couldn’t run low. I wouldn’t drink any more alcohol than the legal limit to drive - only allowing myself more if my husband was in the ‘safe zone’. If we were away from home I’d check out the nearest hospital or out-of-hours GP. I’d go to bed early to ‘bank’ a few hours just in case. I was afraid of the night-time.

I’m not even scratching the surface of the impact it had on my relationship, career, social life, self-esteem…. and generally the person who I truly was (and who I wanted to be) beyond all of these safety behaviours.

This was life with a juicy diagnosis of health anxiety, generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I was constantly on high-alert, frightened and pretty ashamed of my ‘craziness’.

Image: Free People

Looking back, there was a thread of anxiety running back into my childhood (I was a little girl that slept in the recovery position just in case) but it tripped into high-gear when I became a mum.

If underlying my own worries was a feeling that I wasn’t safe, I now had a huge responsibility to protect my babies in a world that felt vulnerable. With this consuming, inexplicable love I felt for my children came an intensity of the fears I’d been practising for years. Fears that are labelled as anxiety (in a variety of flavours).

I was determined that this would end with me. Role-modelling this thinking to my children, for them to learn and practise and feel, could not happen. But that’s easier said than done.

Too many precious family times were stolen. The greatest proportion of my energy and focus was on giving my children the love, stability and feeling of security I craved myself but, when it came down to it, I was there in body but not always in presence. My mind was elsewhere - scanning, catastrophising, focusing inward on scary thoughts or physical symptoms or imagined scenarios.

But I wasn’t going to take it lying down (as much as an anxious person ever lies down!). I was proactive in trying to find a ‘fix’, totally resistant to going down the route of medication prescribed by my GP. I gave anything a go - counselling, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Timeline Therapy, Rapid Transformation Therapy (RTT), Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or ‘tapping’), solution-focused hypnosis, Theta Healing, reiki. And, yes, medication.

I began to think that nothing would work for me. I was broken and unfixable. I was utterly frustrated as, no matter how many times I heard messages about taking responsibility for my thoughts, I just didn’t believe it was possible - for me. I couldn’t do it by myself. I just needed to keep looking for the thing, the fix.

But there were these moments, flickers of hope. Brief, fleeting moments of ‘winning’, when anxiety didn’t get the better of me - when I didn’t loyally chase any stick my mind threw for me. I learned that I was not my thoughts. Deepak Chopra says, “We are the thinker behind the thought”.

So maybe I wasn’t broken after all. My thoughts, yes. Me, no.

This is all written in the past tense. It’s not because I’ve found the magic bullet. Maybe, like me, you’ve been scanning through this post quickly to get to the juicy solution. This is not that blog post, sorry - I still live life with anxiety. Choosing to not accept anxiety as part of my identity, though, knowing that it’s not me was the first click. The rest is trial and error and I’ve been learning along the way what works for me… and that I aim to share with you.

Life with anxiety is a life un-lived, this I know to be true. But in my heart I also know anxiety is an illusion - convincing and consuming but an illusion nonetheless. They say music is the space in-between the notes. Living anxiety-free is in that same space. And I’m learning to be there - and be me - more. It’s meant for me and it’s meant for you too.

Have hope.

On finding your real purpose

Or, my alternative title for this post... "your purpose is who you are, not what you do”. Let me elaborate.

I’m thinking more and more that the way we measure success/life/each other is all wrong. We’ve been conditioned to be defined by numbers. Exam grades, qualifications, job title and remuneration, position on the property ladder - like what we do and what we have is who we are.

I say this at a point in my life when much of that has been stripped back. Decisions we’ve made as a family, with the long game in mind, have meant that, for now, we’re forced to live a simpler existence. Don’t get me wrong, there’s not much romance in having a ‘simpler’ household income - money really does create freedom and choice and some options feel strictly ‘off limits’ right now - but it has definitely encouraged us to re-evaluate and value the true riches.

Image: Sianna Sherman Samuel

Take this weekend, for example. Our best friends came to visit and I went into my usual planning/organising mode and had found places for us to go, activities for us to do, spots for us to eat and drink - but then, Hurricane Ophelia forced us to change our plans. The children happily played indoors, we sat around our dining table and enjoyed lunch WITHOUT the worry about other diners or forcing the kiddos to sit still, we took a walk when there was a break in the rain. And, guess what, the children’s favourite part was collecting conkers!  Collecting conkers?! In a weekend that could have been packed with things to entertain our guests, what the little people really wanted were the simple pleasures of playing, inside and out.

But living simply, without those metrics, has really knocked my self-esteem. Truthfully, I’ve felt this way since my return to work after maternity leave turned sour and I ended up being mummy full-time. Often the first thing people ask on meeting is the age-old “so what do you do?” question. Maybe it was my own awkwardness around it but, so often, I felt judged - like I had to justify that I’m not a kept-woman or ambition-less. That awkwardness is amplified now both boys are in school a few days a week. I feel the need to explain what I do with my “spare time” lest I be badged as, gasp, a housewife. 

Call us crazy but stripping away job titles and their associated earnings has created space for us to become really conscious of who we are outside of those ‘badges’. But having that job title as an identity is intoxicating and hard to come off.

Even now, as I am carving out my direction, it’s automatic to be planning what I should do and overlooking the real question…

When I worked in the corporate world - with the identity that came from having a job and income and, as it looked to the outside world, a career path - I was unhappy and felt I was playing a game I didn’t want to win. As a full-time mummy I haven’t felt completely fulfilled as I felt like ‘being me’ was on the backburner. When I was trying to be mummy with a side-gig, I felt fake as I was just chasing an income to feel I was contributing financially. Right now, I feel I need a job title or a label to explain myself to other people just to plug the empty gap. I’ve almost let the need for approval from others win out.

But, after absorbing myself in the world of personal development for over twenty years now, it always comes back to one question…

Who do you want to be?

Let’s take a pause and let that sink in. Not what do you do. Who do you want to be?

Even with the big picture we get it wrong - at least I have. We talk about finding ‘life purpose’ as something you do.  It’s actually something that little gang of 5 and 3-year olds knew this weekend, collecting conkers. And something we knew at their age too. 

Your purpose is, and always has been, being truly you - following your bliss. The things that brought you joy as a child, or that bring you joy now, they play a part. Your purpose is the true you in all areas of your life - yes, what you do, your contribution is very much a part of that, but it is just one part. And what you get out of it - those measures - are a by-product.

Let me loop back to the beginning. I know the metrics of work and income and living expenses are part and parcel of our functioning society but it’s all extrinsic… and the more I chase that as my intention, the further away I feel from that intrinsic, inner contentment.

If who I want to be is authentic and happy and fulfilled then it’s going to take a little bit of reinvention and course correction… and that means living without the identity of a label for a little while. No title, no status. It means not filling the gap that other people might see/question.

Most importantly, it means getting the real measures sorted first.

One trick to making your goals actually happen... and faster

Have you ever been flicking through the pages or a magazine or browsing online and your eye has been drawn to a gorgeous image?  Attention grabbed, you’re practically drooling over what looks like your dream home, or an exotic location you want to visit, or the studio of someone running your dream business.  Does this sound familiar?

Next time that happens, when an image you see of someone else’s reality that evokes a yearning for your own dream, take a moment.  Think about what it is about that particular image that speaks to you and sparks a desire in you.  What does it tell you about what you dream of for your own life?  

Go a step further and clip the page out of the magazine or print a copy if it’s online.  It’s one for your vision board.

Image: Glitter Guide

I’m a big fan of vision boards.  I started creating my own vision boards when I wanted to bring my new year goals to life.  Instead of just writing my goals down, I wanted to have a constant reminder of the things I wanted to create in my life and my first vision board was born.  I’ve been making them each year since.

It’s not just me.  Vision boards are proven to be effective in giving your brain auto-suggestions of what you want to achieve.  And here’s why.  There’s truth in the saying “a picture speaks a thousand words”.  As you’ll have experienced when that glossy magazine image gave you a pang of desire or ambition or, maybe, jealousy, we attach an emotional meaning to an image.  It’s not just an image of a beautiful living kitchen – it’s a suggestion of a calmer and more ‘together’ lifestyle.  It’s not just an image of a poolside cocktail – it’s a suggestion of wealth and success and living the high life.  And when you give your brain the suggestion of what you want, it obediently begins to work towards creating it.

Imagine you had a collection of images that stirred up some feeling of excitement and desire and hope and determination.  And imagine looking at those images as you begin your day – don’t you think you’d approach your day with a different mindset?  Would you act differently?  How likely will you be to make your goals happen if you had a tantalising visual reminder everyday?

It's not too late to create your vision for 2017!

• Bring your big goal to mind. Let your mind wander and imagine yourself living it now. And take note of how you feel in this scenario and what you see around. If you could ‘bottle’ it, how would you describe what life is like in your dream life? That is the feeling you want to capture on your vision board.

• Start gathering images, words or quotes that represents that desire and captures the feeling, experiences and things that you yearn for. At first, gather anything that speaks to you.

• There is beauty in simplicity so, once you have your collection of words and images, be selective in choosing which ones you want to represent the ideal future you want to create. Then get creative: paste your curation onto a foam board or pin board or large sheet of paper.

• Here’s the last but most important step. Place it somewhere you’ll see it daily and take time to look at it so that you connect with the feeling that your vision board represents.

Now I’d love to hear from you.  What’s the goal you would like to represent on your vision board?  Share the ‘story’ of your dream life with your goal achieved.

A note on being authentic

Things here feel in ‘transition’ at the moment. Have you ever had that feeling that you’re getting ‘tugged’ inside to make a change?

In the (almost) five years since we got married, and had our two boys, it’s been an ongoing transition… and I feel like the bigger transition has been INSIDE ME. 

If you’re a mum, you might be like me – what you want to create for yourself and your family has shifted a little.  YOU have shifted a little.  Yes, you’re still that same girl at heart but maybe the 2.0 version!

How about you?  What was it that you felt called to do or be pre-kiddos?  And how has that shifted now?  Who were you before and who are you now that you’re someone’s mum as well as YOU?

Image: Federico Ferrari

One thing is crystal clear for me – that’s who I want to help and my BIG WHY. 

But how I want to work and create that has (and is) shifting.

So, I’m going against the grain.  The ‘perfectionist’ in me wants to only present the finished product to you, once I’ve worked it all out, but I’ve decided to share the behind-the-scenes with you as I work through the process of change….

So, my ‘why’ (aka the thing, the purpose, the cause that inspires me to do the thing I want to do) is:

I want to help you to be seen as who you really are.  Helping you to rediscover your true essence, who you want to be and what you want to be known for.  To use my mindset expertise, energy healing and yogic inspiration to help you clear the ‘stuff’ holding you back.  And then to help you be seen and shine – and inspire your children to do the same.

This is awkward.  I can usually find the words I want but here I struggle to put it succinctly. So, how about this? 

“My purpose is to empower you to be more you in a world telling you who you should be... and inspire the little eyes watching”.  

What do you think to that?  That’s what inspires me and I’m going to be in ‘creation’ mode as I evolve what I can do to help do that (and craft a clearer way of articulating it!).

I truly value your opinion so if you have something to say comment below and share your thoughts.  When it comes to how you feel about you, what is it that you struggle with or have a negative feeling about?